Bad kids = bad parents? What’s your take?
I find some of the following “common’ in our society (it’s happening in almost every nation no matter what your culture/religion):
Divorced parents neglect to remind their children (or child) of their continious love for them; they fail to see or treat their marriage problems as a “seperate” issue from the issue of providing love, care and moral guidiance/support to their children.
One or both of the divorced/divorcing parents poison their children (child) into believing the other parent does not love them anymore; this kind of action does nothing for the children (child) of divorcing/divorced parents except emotional and mental harm or trauma, that may later develop into bigger problems for the child/children affected.
Some mothers are not trying hard enough to breastfeed their children; they do not know that even a drop of breast milk can go a long way for the future health of their child/children.
Heck, they do not even see the point of sterilizing milk bottles for newborns thinking water and detergent is sufficient.
As the above listed are “bad common things”, I hope that more in society educate themselves, not only in academic or professional subjects, but also in some “life skills”.
No longer is it (or should it) be a”shame” to read and learn about caring for baby from a a book/guide – such theorotic lessons should go hand in hand with practical hands-on lessons as well.
PREVENTION OF PROBLEM KIDS – IS THERE A WAY?
I’ve heard of parents going “Goooo” and “Gaaaa” with their infants only to have them unteach their children the “Goooo” and the “Gaa” and teach proper English/Mandarin (or whatever their mother tongue may be) at a later stage,
There are also many parents liberally misusing pacifiers (easier to shut up noisy brawling babies), with the result of children’s mis-shapened teeth.
I remember shuddering at the news of how a child of 10 died when an old unused TV fell from the top ofa shaky cupboard. Some in my neighbourhood asked, How is it that smart parents can overlook something as basic as home safety?
How a child “turns out”, is very much dependant on how parent/s care for their child/children.
Parents who are ‘lost in time’ in making their own careers work, is equivalent to increasing the probability of their future teenagers becoming “problem kids”.
Besides being good role models to your children, there should be rules (clearly expressed) within the home where children learn to respect and abide by. Children thrive well in environments where they feel secure through “house rules”.
Children as young as 1 are able to understand simple actions and consequences. A verbal “pact’ can be made with a toddler before a supermarket trip for example.
“If you touch anything, something may drop and hurt you and I will never bring you shopping again. And if you are able to keep your hands to yourself, you will get a star sticker. Every star sticker you paste into your album, you win your favourite strawberry pudding (or toy).”
Tie every good action/behaviour with a reward; and a misdeed/bad behaviour with a disciplinry (non-military please!) action. (Removal of priviledges for teenagers work better; for example, no TV/Internet access for a day!)
Use ‘time-out’ methods for angry or unruly kids under 12. This method allows the child to reflect on his/her own actions. It also allows the child to calm down and realise his/her wrong-doing, and to be sorry for it. (There are loads of articles online for the TIME-OUT method.)
PEOPLE/PARENTS IN NEED OF HELP
Of course, you can turn to welfare organizations for help, but it is not a long-term solution that you (or anyone) can stick with. There is only so much that welfare ministries or governmental bodies can do.
Take small baby steps. Set reasonable deadlines or “clean a room at a time”; you do not need to complete everything in a single day.
Visit a counsellor if needed. A counsellor is not there to solve your problems, although he/she can help you get closer to the possible answers you need…to help you make decisions. Your counsellor is there to give you options you may have overlooked.
Do not rely on your “future better half” to make yourself whole; you cannot be attractive without loving and “upgrading” yourself. You are your own investment through planning, “education” and taking appropriate actions.
And this does not mean you have to get married by a certain age, but making what you have with what ever resources/opportunities you may find, to work for you (and your goals).
I like writing for singles, couples and IMVU/MySpace homepage owners, go-carting, beading, polymer-claying and swearing at bad tv news when I am not shooting aliens online. I also enjoy creating video tutorials about image/video editing & animation, and trying out new games and software.
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